By: Samuel Maverick Cole
My shoes squeak as I run towards a wide-eyed custodian folding up chairs. He looks frightened (understandably) as I’m charging full speed, sweat dripping from my brow because of the humidity in the air.
“I need to sit in that chair!” I shout as my left foot gives out, causing me to stumble and almost fall into a nearby garbage can.
Without hesitation, he drops the chair he was carrying and walks away. I put my hands together like a praying mantis, unable to breathe out the words thank you. This chair looks like nothing special, but my butt doesn’t have eyes. Looks don’t matter in this case. I take a deep breath and carefully perch myself upon the seat. The whole room goes silent… well, there was nobody in the room, so it was already silent, but I like to think the walls were anticipating an answer from me.
Wow, I think I can hear my spine crying from this chair!
I myself do some sitting from time to time and thought it would be a good idea to test out not only the new chairs, but every chair in this school. As students of Dominican University may have noticed, there are new seating options throughout the school. Determined to find answers, I grabbed my notebook, chugged the rest of my apple juice, and walked out of my room marking the beginning of an adventure.
After careful analysis, multiple butt imprints, and plenty of strange looks from faculty members, here are my results:
The award for the Best Chair in Dominican University goes to the one of a kind, wooden chair located in Lewis 400. It’s likely that many students at Dominican haven’t even been inside Lewis 400, let alone had the honor to rest on the finest piece of furniture ever created. The wood feels as if it was crafted just for your body to sink into and contemplate rhetoric from the olden days. The arm rests are just at the right height to give a relaxing, yet professional aesthetic. It’s neither too wide nor too slim, and the backrest hugs your torso like a supportive friend. When I sat down, my feet casually slept on the floor unwilling to raise my body from the chair’s comfy clutches. Perfect was an impossible standard, until this chair entered my life. If you haven’t had the chance to relax on this masterpiece of craftmanship, I highly suggest you venture on up to understand the pure bliss this chair has to offer.
However, my mission didn’t end with chairs. Here are some of the other best seating options at Dominican University:
Best Couch: Black couch in Commons facing the television.
Best Outdoor Furniture: Blue lounge chairs just outside Commons.
Best Study/Homework Furniture: Roundabout couches in the old swimming room.
Best Highchairs: Highchairs in Parmer near the stairs.
Best Toilet Seat: Men’s Bathroom on the fourth floor of Parmer.
Unfortunately, none of the new chairs or couches made the cut. Perhaps they still need to be sat in a little more, but they are all extremely stiff and cause discomfort after extended periods of sitting. It’s still nice to see that there are more places to take a chill pill and relax, though. The faculty, workers, and everyone involved at Dominican University really try to make this place better every year and getting new furniture is a direct result from that. Maybe the next thing we should do is get more handicap accessibility throughout the school. This way everyone has the opportunity to get around and discover new places to take a break from their hectic schedules and just chill.
scole@my.dom.edu
Image courtesy: Samuel Maverick Cole
